Bad Day

It didn't start out being a bad day really. I mean, I had to go into work for mandatory overtime, but we were able to leave after 4 hours, so I was out of work at a decent time. The hours actually spent at work were good enough. A decent enough day, nothing horrible, even rather pleasant. I drove home from work and when I got home noticed that my Blackberry was blinking. A Facebook notification. I am pretty active on Facebook and regularly post my status, how I'm feeling, links to interesting (to me anyway) articles or sites, as well as political posts. I'm left-leaning to the extreme. Pretty much a Socialist. But hell, I am Canadian! I have plenty of "friends" who are also politically left-leaning. People who want to live in a country where ALL its citizens are taken care of, which is a better place to live for us all. However, I realize that there are alternate points of view. Some of them are even valid. Certainly my parents have a different point of view. I accept this and try my best not to provoke political arguments with my Dad, who loves a good confrontation, just for the fun of it. As passionate as I am, I am not inherently confrontational. I will stand up for myself and others when the need arises, but I don't like to have to yell or frankly, be yelled at or ridiculed much. I doubt many people do. My parents know that if they post something on Facebook, I will probably comment on it. Well, apparently tonight, my Dad decided to post something of a political nature, in order to bait me for a comment. Yep, I took the bait, but I didn't leave a nasty comment, just laughed (lmao) at his lame post. The problem started when my sister decided to chime in, to let me know that in fact, I was a sucker for taking the bait. Normally I don't think I'm really thin-skinned, but for some reason that comment really, really rankled. My sister and I normally have a very good relationship. Respectful and loving. But once in awhile she tends to make very, in her words, "honest" comments. In my words, cruel. For instance, last weekend I had a party at my place. I don't entertain often, but my husband and I have been working hard on doing improvements to our condo and I thought it would be nice to have friends over. She loudly declared that she hated the colour of our walls and didn't like my bathroom towels. Oh, and by the way, also didn't like my current Facebook profile picture because it was too "posed". Yeah, it was, but it was also a hot picture of me and I looked great in it! Comments that were completely unnecessary. And cruel. Honest, but cruel. I tried to shrug them off as alcohol-fueled, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that they had been "niggling" at me all week. Add to the fact that I've been feeling very dark and depressed for a couple of weeks, probably as a result of the fact that it was my 42nd birthday this week and this one affected me like none before. Then, when I saw her Facebook comment tonight, I lost it! I cried, like I have honestly not cried in years. I didn't even cry like that when my husband and I were having marital problems and were discussing separating. I had a few drinks and posted some choice tidbits on Facebook and changed my profile picture to a hand holding up the middle finger. lol! Yeah, that was kind of funny! I took it off and now there is no photo. Then I logged off of Facebook and thought it best to remove myself from drinking and posting for awhile., I told my husband that I refuse to participate in my family's Easter Dinner next weekend and he booked us for a weekend in Niagara Falls. At this point, I don't think I will let anyone know that we won't be there or even where I am. I think I will also avoid Facebook for the week. I don't want to post anything that I'll regret too much. So far, I don't regret any of the several Harper-Conservative facts that I posted on my parents Facebook wall! lol! http://shitharperdid.ca.nyud.net/ You know, I am a passionate person, I am a good person. I care about my country, my husband, my family, my friends, my coworkers, neighbours and many others. I try my best to be true to myself, yet kind to others. I'm not perfect, but I don't deserve to be treated like a joke. Particularly not by my own family. So, I think I'll just take a little break from the world, until I cool off.